Costa Rican Police

Driving in Costa Rica is pretty dangerous.  There are thousand foot embankments, zero guard rails, and an people walking along the sides of the roads which makes it quite difficult for two cars.  Kris drove the entire time which I am thankful for because I probably would have had a panic attack, killed us, or both.  We had driven almost 400KM with no problems until we were coming back from Mal Pais.  After getting off the ferry we were anxious to get to our hotel and relax.  We found that the roads from Puntarrenas to San Ramon were pretty tricky but it was because the semi's on the road were going so slow.  We were stuck behind 3 huge trucks and Kris decided to make his move around them with zero traffic coming towards us.  However, there was a cop right at the corner who was anxious to pull someone over.  As soon as we passed him I looked back and he had jumped into his car and turned his lights on.  Police officers in under developed countries generally are a really horrible group of people to deal with and are often on some serious power trips.  Our police officer was no exception.  As soon as he pulled us over I rolled down my window to do the talking.  The conversation was held in Spanish.

Me:  Hola
Police: What's wrong with you?  Why did you pass on a curve don't you know it's illegal?
Me:  We didn't see any signs and there was no oncoming traffic and a guy had just done it before us.
Police:  Why do you speak Spanish?  And where are you going?
Me:  My family is from Mexico and we're going to San Jose
Police:  Have you been pulled over before?
Me:  No this is our first time
Police:  How long have you been here and when do you leave?
Me:  We have been here for 7 days and we leave tomorrow
Police:  So you should know the rules of the road by now!! [Pointing at Kris] I want his drivers license and passport.  I'm giving him a ticket.  The ticket can be paid in San Jose and his license can be picked up on Monday in court.  The ticket will be 600,000 colones (roughly $1,000)
Me:  Aye Dios!  Please don't write the ticket, we can't stay until Monday [Time to start being dramatic]
Police:  That's not my problem!  He should have thought about that before he passed those trucks! Wait here and translate for your friend I'm going to get your license plate number.

I translate for Kris and he is almost zen like.  We'll figure it out, no big deal.  After 5min the Police officer comes back. 
Police:  [Writing away on his computer screen]
Me:  Sir, is there any way we can do this without you taking his license he needs it when he goes to New York tomorrow to the hospital. 
Police:  The Hospital?
Me:  Yes....[huge gulp, eyes squint, mouth puckers] He has cancer
Police:  Really?  [Looking very skeptical] What kind of cancer?
Me:  Ummm Throat Cancer.
Police:  Is that why he doesn't speak?
Me:  Yes it's great for me I get to talk alot...and well he doesn't know Spanish so he can't really speak to you.  He needs his identification for his cancer treatments at the hospital.
Police:  [stares at me a long time...then his hard expression softens] Well I know of a healer in San Ramon where you all are passing through.  He's from Panama, do you want me to give you his information?  He helped my dad out who had cancer internally as well.  I feel very bad for your situation I'm going to lower your ticket to $800 USD
Me:  [upset that was not exactly the response I was hoping for]  Yes!  That would be great, my step dad had cancer before and he went to someone in Mexico who helped. 

We end up talking for about 5min about "curanderos" healers and tips and tricks for cancer patients and what herbs to eat etc.  I decide to go ahead and ask him for a "favor" after we spent all this time chatting and he had stopped writing the ticket.

Me:  Sir, is there ANY way that we could maybe bypass the ticket.  It would really be a blessing if you did.

[I start talking again while he is waiting for his screen to change on his little ticket machine and I tell him that tickets in the United States aren't even this expensive.  Then I went a round about way of asking if there was ANY other way to handle this situation]

Police:  Is it very expensive?
Me:  Yes like $50 for parking and $75 for speeding
Police:  Well how much for passing on a curve?
Me:  I don't know, I haven't had a ticket in more than 7yrs
Police:  Well I feel very bad
Me:  Yeah it's a very sad situation....Is there any way that maybe we could pay you so we don't have to go to the station in San Jose?
Police:  Well what if you just paid me $200USD
[Sweet!  I decide my goal is to get him down to $125]
Me:  $50
Police:  $150
Me:  $75?
Police:  $125?
Me:  $100 and that's all we have
Police:  Ok...
Me:  Kris...give me $100 USD
Kris:  What?
Me:  He is going to give your passport, waive the ticket, and give your license back if you give him $100 USD.
Kris:  Wow.  Ok that works for me.  Can you ask him if I can go to the trunk of the car?
[Kris comes back with 50,000 colones which is about $100 USD.  The police officer rolls it up puts it in his pocket, deletes the electronic form, hands Kris' information back to me, and gives me a small lecture on why he did what he did.]

Police:  I'm going to make this go away but do NOT be passing on curves, do not be speeding, and make sure to visit the man from Panama to heal your friend.  I'm only doing this because of the cancer and because you speak Spanish.  I can't understand English so I always write the tickets.

I always get anxiety when I lie and this was no exception.  After we drove off I became really worried that I was going to get cancer for telling that whopper of a lie.  But after a few minutes of Kris patting my back and rationalizing in my head that the man accepting the bribe canceled out my cancer lie.  I decided my Karma was just fine and I felt better.  I did say a quick prayer just in case though.