The Emotional Man

So I went on a dating sabbatical just long enough to be amazing at work and lose some weight.  Woohoo me!  However this got me promoted to a new position and asked out on more dates.  I decided to accept a date from someone that I met at a Birthday Party for my friend Crystal.  It was a trolley ride and I was wearing a blue wig.  Luckily he didn't mind.  The week after the party he asked me out on a dinner date to a place called Piece.  If you are ever in Chicago you should stop by...it's also a brewery and it's a change from all of the deep dish Chicago Style pizza.

Anyhoo our dated started out really well.  I had those butterfly jitters he turned out to be a really interesting guy. Actually I only really say that because I could see him getting along with my Dad's.  He loves to golf, talk business, loves sports, and he's just very manly.  Everything about him just exudes testosterone, sweat, and bulging muscles.  I mean everything from the way he walked confidently, then put his hand on my lower back guiding me to the table, to the way he pulled out my chair and almost set me in it because yes he's that tall and strong.  As we continued I learned that he's a bit of an elitest music expert; meaning he only listens to bands that 90% of the world hasn't heard and then when you say "No I don't know that band" he kind of snickers and explains their "sound" to you.  Miniature Tigers anyone?  As the conversation progressed and our pizza made it's entrance he asked "So when was your last serious relationship?"  I told him about it in vague detail and then passed the question baton back to him.  However he didn't reach for it as eagerly as I thought he would instead he got very choked up.  The testosterone Man had been overcome by emotion and my novice skills as a wannabe therapist took over.  "Are you ok?  We don't have to talk about it."  This was a total lie, I wanted to know everything and be the one to help fix it.  The "All Man" Man turned into a volcano of emotions.  What the heck happened with this relationship?  My friend LT always says "Men tell you who they are by the stories they tell about their lives."  This was going to be a telling story I didn't want to miss out on!

I will never get why some guys do that.  They put all their emotions into a pit for safe keeping and then when you least expect it a question mark is thrown in and lava tears push their way out.  He pulled it together and the testosterone facade was back up.  We sat in silence and I am pretty sure I had "What the heck just happened?" painted on my face.  Then he said "Nah, it's no big deal.  We just broke up 21 months ago and it was kind of....."  He didn't finish so I started throwing adjectives at him.  "Tough, Troubling, Terrible?"  Not sure why they all started with T but whatever.

It was troubling to me that he knew the exact date (and i'm sure the time) of when they broke up so I mentioned that it was a pretty specific time frame compared to my "I think it was like a year or two ago" comment.  Then the lava tears came, all the way out this time.  He brushed them back quickly and covered his face.  When I see someone in pain, physical or emotional, I get this pain in my stomach and my nerve endings start pulsing and then I feel a type of pain.  This is probably why I get "weird" when I see people cry.  I have no idea what to do and I'm overcome myself with a terrible feeling so I usually flee or fix the situation.

After many questions I found out in eeked out sentences that this girl broke his heart and his year at one of the most vulnerable times in a guys life.  We keep talking for about an hour but we both didn't want to end the therapy session date on a sour note so we agree to get a drink at a bar.

However we couldn't go to the bar that I chose because he never called one of the girls that works there back.  It looks like I can give him his man card back.

Big News

Today I found out that I will be heading to Dallas for a new job opportunity.  I'm from Texas so my entire family was thrilled with the news.  Each of my parents got special phone calls and when I reached my mom this was how the conversation played out...


Mom:  Hola Clarita!  
Me: Hey Mom...Are you sitting down?
Mom:  Why?  Do you have news?
Me:  Yes I have big news.  Wait did you talk to people already?
Mom:  No, No, No Tell me!  Oh gosh what's going on?
Me:  Well I was calling to tell you that..

Mom:  [shouting] YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!
Me:  Uh What?!  Mom. Seriously?  I'm not even dating anyone right now.
Mom:  Oh ok.  I just figured well...I don't know I was hoping.  Umm. Well. Oh.  Ok so what's the news?
Me:  Oh.  I'm just...I'm moving to Dallas
Mom:  Well that's fun too!  Can I decorate your new place?


Watch out Texas...Here I come!

Looking Back...

I know they say not to look back but instead to always look forward instead.  I think those people are wrong.  I think it's great to look back on the memories, the laughter, the great and sometimes sad things that happened over the year.  This took a while but was well worth it.  I have found a way to quantify my joy and it's in photos and paragraphs summing up my year.
**Feel free to remind me or send me photos of anything I might have forgotten or missed.  I'd love to add it to the huge posting I have here.

January - I made a pact to be single for one whole year and document it.  Mission accomplished.  I started the year out with Katie Kat my sometimes roomie who came to visit and and start wedding plans.  I was also punched in the eye by an overzealous fist pumping suburbanite cougar at the SuperDiamond concert.  The concerts and the fans did not disappoint. 

February - I met that Military guy who, despite our terrible dates and my allergic reaction, is still my friend.  I also spent time with my younger brother which I had not done in quite some time.  We had a great time and part of that was due to a very memorable Valentines Day dinner hosted by Cheeky Chicago.  My neighbor Dorothy, my friend Andrea, and My Co-worker Mario all joined us for a rich dinner at Naha.  Next my brother and I flew to meet our new and very cute nephews in Ft. Worth Texas!  I was home for a week then I flew to Atlanta to see my very pregnant bestie Sara and act as her surrogate liver so that her husband could enjoy the wine tasting party and not feel guilty.

My Crazy little brother

Gift from Reza 

Gavin & I

March - I managed to put my brave girl pants on and jump into Lake Michigan as a part of the polar plunge.  It was a whopping 30 degrees and my friends Kat, Laura, and Paige went to cheer me on.  On St. Patty's day I spent the frigid day on the Nike boat drinking hot coco with Laura and dancing with our light up kanye glasses. I later met up with Beth, her friend from CT, Tyler, and a sombrero wearing Kat.  Later I hopped a last minute flight and went to Costa Rica with Kris, a guy I hadn't known very well.  We went white water rafting, zip lining, mudding I mean 4Wheeling, surfing, picked up hitchhikers, and swam in the magical tabacon hot springs.  I'm so thankful our trip went well because it could have been terrible to be stuck with a zero fun person for a week.  Now our friendship is one that I value greatly.  At the end of this crazy month I organized a crazy tour with a company called Weird Chicago that took us on a ghost and sex dungeon tour in Chicago.  The dominatrix whose place we saw has now been highlighted on MTV and the History Channel.  It's also 2 blocks away from my office downtown in the loop. 

April - I had my 5th Annual "Welcome Back Jesus" Party also known as Easter.  There were actually more Jewish people at the party than there were Christians!  We hid eggs in Lincoln Park and smashed cascarones on each others heads too.  I also went to a kick ass Atoms for Peace concert with Katz at the Aragon.  Flea was amazing and we were very close to the front of the stage along with a guy who smelled like drugs.  I ended up going to 7 Cubs Games this month with various friends, got a ride home in someone's unused limo, had a Zack attack, and fell so badly that my knee was bruised for 4 weeks.  Later in the month SVENJA came to town and Laura left town.  We had a Debbies Daughter Does Dallas party for Laura and Svenja ended up throwing up all over my apartment like the exorcist!

May-  By this month I thought I was all Cub Gamed out but I went to 3 more games with great groups of people.  I had a blast at a derby party with Kat!  Then I went to Texas for work and spent some time with my mom and the rest of my family.  When I got back I joined Jess in crashing a wedding where I met Seth...I mean Chad.  It was a very fun affair until a little person along with other items came out from under the brides dress during what was supposed to be the garter toss.  Later I flew to New York to see the Ting Tings, hang out with scamp at a police station, and I met Dreamy Derek.  Before the month ended I caught back up with my friend Adam who I had met during a Mid 20's Spring Break the year before.  His family graciously took Kat and I out on their boat for some tan time on lake michigan.  However, he missed the last part of the party because of my Raspberry Lemonaid.  I think there might have been a tad bit of vodka in there.

June- Best Birthday Month Ever!  My friends took me out for a Tacos and Tequila night out.  Ami took me for an amazing dinner, J-dubb took me to sparkler Sushi, I got a secret birthday gift from Kris, and I went down to Nashville for CMA Fest with Meg &Sarah!  Where we got a bit punchy and enjoyed a ton of shows including a private Jack Ingram concert.  When I got home the Blackhawk's won the Stanley Cup which turned Wrigley into the most insane street party ever.  I was able to see guys dressed like they stepped out of J.Crew take shots of a homeless man's liter of coke.  It's crazy what sparklers, people jumping onto scaffolding, and throwing toilet paper will make people do.  Very fun to watch none the less.  I also got to see Gavin Rosdale at the Taste of Chicago and after so many years I finally saw Avenue Q...which was hilarious. 

July - Summer Fun was in full swing with very fun nights out with old and new friends.  I also learned how to BBQ with charcoal.  The key is to make sure your pyramid pile isn't too tight.  My brother and I also flew to see my mom's new home in Denver.  We found out she got married, celebrated, and went to a Rockie's game.  My sister Meri had a beautiful and incredibly long wedding it lasted until 6am the next day. Mexicans know how to keep a party going.  We bon voyaged the happy couple a few times that night.  When I got home I was ready to go see the Kings of Leon with Kat.  We did get rained out but we met some amazing friends on the bus ride out there along with a Tinley Park Police officer who had an affinity for stuffed animals.

August - I went to Star Island with my Dad Art, step-mom, and little sister.  We were able to swim with dolphins, feed them, go snorkeling, jet ski, and we did some relaxing.  When I got back it was Wedding Week for the Katie & Erik extravaganza!  We had so much fun and what an amazing venue the Art Institute Modern Wing!  After the Wedding action I had to head to DC and was able to meet Rev. Jesse Jackson.  Then Dreamy Derek came into town and we had an action packed weekend.  After he left I rested for a bit then went to a David Gray and Ray LaMontange concert in Millennium Park with Kat and The Italian.

September - I went on a crazy sailing lesson with Kat that ended in me getting hit on by a very nice older lesbian woman.  Cherie and I left Chicago for Vastine Wedding in what turned out to be the most exciting international Wedding I have ever been to.  We were escorted to our connecting flight on the tarmac, we went parasailing, played giant chess, had a private butler, Dies y Seis de Septiembre party, and if I remember correctly there was an interaction with a couple from Alabama that I will never forget.  When I got home my dad Art came to visit me for the 2nd time since I've been living in Chicago.  We had very close seats to home plate and had a great time going out with my friends.

October - In this month I said goodbye to my friend and former make-up artist Louis Anthony at first friday at the museum of contemporary art.  Afterwards I spent a weekend in Seattle visiting Dreamy Derek, Katie Kat, Robynn, and Julie.  After that weekend the 22nd Floor at work welcomed Emily to Chicago! My friends also learned that I can't resist a cupcake and they should never be closer than 2ft away from me if they don't want me to swoop in and eat 'em up.  I spent a week in Texas with my former around the corner neighbor and whole foods shopping buddy Adam.  While in Dallas I also got to see my cousin Daniel who took me out for "one drink" where I proceeded to "borrow" a Tiger Woods costume from a fellow patron.  After the weekend in Dallas I had a work conference where my ultra shy friend and co-worker Christien had his annual Conference Birthday party.  From there I spent another weekend with the newly minted Vastine Family.  We had quite an exciting and controversial costume.  Before I left I was glad to spend some time with my Sister in Law!  We had a great day out with the cutest twin boys ever.  And my older brother was able to take a break from giving people tickets so he could give me a hug and chick-fil-a!  He's the best!

November - Or shall I say MOvember where almost every man I know was growing out his mustache for Testicular Cancer.  This month I went to my first Ben Folds Concert with my friend Kerry.  I was also invited to a JUF event to see Sarah Silverman perform by my new friend Ifeanyi.  My former boss Melanie invited me to a fashion show with Austin Scarlet and Santino from Project Runway which was amazing.  The 22nd Floor said goodbye to Vince with a Chicago Gangster themed party at Club Lucky in bucktown.  Everyone got nicknames too bad only Joey Tightpants can't get rid of his.  My friend Ben took me to the SOFA event at Navy Pier and I saw some unique art work and learned what goes into blowing glass.  The night before Turkey Day I spent it how I would have in Texas by going out with friends.  Which went from tame to crazy in 60 seconds after Zus performed a lap dance and the wackiest game of survivor flip cup ensued.  For Thanksgiving I took a trek up to the North Shore and was welcomed in by the Weiner Family.  They were so loving and generous I had an amazing time and came back with sore abs from laughing so hard.  I also learned a bit about a game called Zorch!  Watch out everyone...

December - The month started out really great. I was able to invite a few of my girlfriends to the IHCC Gala and we got all decked out together before we went to the event. I was able to meet Gery Chico who is running for Mayor as well as the current San Antonio Mayor.  Em and I went to my new friend Crystal's birthday which had a Wig Theme.  The same night my friend Kirk was in town with his band The Roots for a concert so we did both!  Kirk is one of the most generous people I have ever randomly met.  I didn't think we would still be in touch after 4+yrs but we are and I'm grateful. Then as I was gearing up for the annual Graber Girls Pot Luck my Grma (not a typo) passed away.  I flew home the next day and went alone to the funeral home to see her before she was finally laid to rest.  That was by far one of the toughest things I've ever had to do.  A very terrible way to end the year but it did bring my family closer and I got the best present from my Grma.  It may look like jewelry but the gift is really the story that we had over the ring she gave me that I remember when I look at my right hand.  After we put my Grma to rest I spent the next few days absorbing my family.  Maybe a little too much.  We had a Christmas Eve Scene It showdown where my sisters and I took home the championship.  On Christmas Day my Aunt and my mom had a fish taco showdown.  I think my Mom won...but my Aunt Sonya's "Slap yo mamma" spice rub was pretty good as well.

Lastly I'm so grateful to all my family, my old friends, and my new friends.  This year is dedicated to a special lady who knew more about aquanet, bling, gold track suits, telling it like it is, laughing, loving, and living life for her family than anyone else I have ever known.  I'm sure there was a great fiesta in heaven the day she got there.

I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for all of us...

New Years Eve

I'm a bit late on this posting but I just wanted to let everyone know that I had a really fun time on New Years Eve.  I went with the white dress and it was quite a hit.  A few people came up and paid me compliments which is always nice. 

I met up with my two lovely girlfriends and then also met up with my friend Zack from Summer of 2010.  He is a very fun guy.  So much fun that the group he showed up with was already really drunk when they showed up to the actual hotel party.  So drunk that one girl was face down in her napkin while we were all talking.  Quite interesting.  Anyway as Zack and I were scanning the crowd we decided that in order to avoid the awkwardness we would just kiss each other on New Years Eve.  Done and Done.  Amazingly that took alot of pressure off the night I was free to run around and mingle now.  When did it become such a big deal to kiss someone at the stroke of Midnight?   What's up with that?

As I was running around checking out every possible dance floor and testing out each DJ I lost track of time.  At 11:45pm I got a text from Zack saying "Where are you?  I'm at the downstairs party left side of the dance floor."  I grabbed two glasses of champagne and headed down to the lower party.  It took me a while to get there and when I did I saw Zack dancing and what looked like kissing a shorter troll looking girl.  I stood there shocked.  He saw me as I was stomping off the dance floor upset, and grabbed my wrist and said "Let me just get rid of her.  You are my date don't get sassy on me."  He turned around to tend to this girl before I could say "No Thanks."  Just as I was trying to escape and find my girlfriends I ran into Mystery guy. 

Cut to 10pm when the girls and I were heading down an escalator to the party.  Mystery guy was going up on the escalator and said "That girl right there in the white."  I turned and smiled and he said "That's my dream girl!"  I smiled and gave him a thumbs up because I was too embarassed to say anything back.  He said "I'm sure I'll see you before the nights out and winked." 

Back to 11:58pm when I was storming off the dance floor I tripped and was caught by none other than Mystery guy.  He looked at me and said "No way this is happening."  I said "Well it looks like your wish just came true."  Zack came back over just as the count down was starting....10...9...I looked at both my options...8....7...6....Zack is pulling me...5....4....3...decision made....2....I turn around and plant one on Mystery Guy.  Happy New Year!