Plenty of Weirdos

The other day I was thinking how it was kind of sad that I've met very few people outside of bars and clubs. I've met people through friends and one guy at church but no one that I would really want to date. I've also met a really great guy that I'm kind of dating right now (his story will come later) but what if I haven't met EVERYONE!? At the suggestion of Kerry and the cohersion of Lindsey who has a very hot boyfriend I joined her dating site where she met him. Who knows it might provide for some interesting stories. Turns out I was correct in my assumption.


Within the first 30min of signing up I already had 11 messages waiting for me. I thought it might be a glitch or a joke, but it was not. I think it was because I signed up during prime web surfing hours. Some of these men were handsome and very funny. Some of them were not. In fact I probably had more strange people than I did normal guys. Here are the Top 5 strange ones:
1. The Self Pity Guy - His message actually said "You probably won't want to go on a date with me because you are really hot. I'm not even expecting a message back but I wanted to tell you that you have a great smile. I'm sure some guy is going to be really lucky and snap you up. Well bye...Hope you have a good evening. Even his photo looked depressing. I did send him a message back with some self confidence and grooming tips along with advice on photos he should remove if he wants to go on any dates along with a "Best Wishes" note. He will message me back when he trims his hair, shaves his face and has a happy photo.
2. The Fact Guy - This guy's message was titled "Interesting Fact" which if anyone doesn't know, I LOVE facts. Unfortunately his fact was "Did you know that there are 33 registered sex offenders in your zip code? That's quite disturbing...mine only has 11 be careful. By the way my name is Alan, it's nice to meet you." I did respond to this guy as well and tell him that if he wanted to go on dates with women he should probably find some better facts about their neighborhood that do not involve people who have faced criminal punishment.


3. The TMI Guy - His initial email was great and he looked very handsome. Dark hair, blue eyes, his profile said 6'1 and he is "thin". So I responded to his message then he responded with all sorts of intimate facts about himself some of which I haven't even shared with my mom not to mention a total stranger. The fact that stood out like a hippie at the Board of Trade was that he was a NUDIST! Not only was he a nudist he was very proud of it and he even asked me not to judge and just "go with the flow." I wrote back that I have cellulite and body image issues there will be no meeting up with or without clothing." I'm sure that's a really great strategy for guys, pretend to be a nudist and see if you can get a girl who will be "open" to the idea just once.


4. The Frat Guy - This guy has a Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity Dinner and would like me to be his date. Unfortunately he was 22 and I was not about to go there. I also think his picture was of Ryan Phillipe and not really him, he was way too cute. Maybe I might have to re-think this. I could go back and relive my college years, I did have a fantastic time back then.
5. The Old Guy - "Would you consider dating someone older?" I was thinking, "how old, is old?" I looked at his profile and he is 58! I decided at this point I could never marry for money. Correction: I could never marry an old, ugly, weird, man for money. A good looking, fun guy I could marry for money. But honestly 58?! He's older than my mom! Sorry Mom, I know you wanted to pretend to be 45 for a few more years. Then I realized I think I need to adjust the settings. I changed it from 0 - 99yrs old to only 26- 38yr olds. I even think 38 might be too old for me but who knows. I did go on a date with a 40yr old hunky pilot.