I ruined a date...

How I met “Mark” isn’t as important as what happened on our first date.  Mark is a great guy, actually an awesome guy.  He is a retired Army Ranger so he has a commanding presence, red hair, and a serious personality to match.  

I have been on many awkward and uncomfortable first dates but none as terrible as this one.  The only difference this one was my entire fault. 

 All. My. Fault. 

He called me up and said that he wanted to take me to his newlywed friends, Jim and Judy’s, place for a couple’s game night.  I was really excited and also terrified because I am a bucket of crazy you don’t want to tip over when I play games.  I’m a bad loser and an equally bad winner.  The gloating, in your face, jumping up and down hootin and hollerin winner. 

Mark and I arrived at the party as Judy was showing off her wedding gifts which had taken over their dining room table of their apartment.  As we were moving the gifts so we could all sit down she stopped at her last gifts.  She made a grand gesture to pick up her Tiffany Boxes that housed several sparkly wine glasses each individually wrapped in special cellophane and bubble wrap.  She showed us one of the glasses and then said “Well these are just wayyyy too expensive to be using for our silly game night.  I just wanted to show you how awesome these were.”  She set them away from the rest of the boxes as if they were going to catch 20% off discount fever being next to the Bed, Bath, and Beyond boxes.  This particular group of ladies was not interested in talking about anything other than reality TV characters, People magazine headlines, and Wedding ideas.  Mark was sitting next to me and said “Clara this seems like torture for you.  These girls aren’t known for being friendly. We can leave if you want.”  Normally those topics are up my alley but they just weren't having any of my input.  I got the hint when everyone pretended I wasn’t sitting there but I was so determined to walk away with a friend that I decided to stick it out. 

Finally game night started and we paired up into Ladies vs. Men.  While playing Cranium their tiny Chihuahua/Rat Terrier mix dog took a liking to me and refused to leave my lap or stop yapping.  When I tried to move the dog he bit me!  I kept trying to move him and kept getting nipped and bit.  I asked Judy if she could help me out.  In her best fake buttery voice she said  “Awwwwww Clara!  He just seems to love you…He’s so comfortable.  Awwwww look at him!   Just let him stay.”  She was literally killing me with kindness.  So I reached for the best lie.  “Well I’m kind of allergic I just don’t want to break out.”  So her husband walked over to help “Here is his favorite duck just throw it far and he’ll get distracted with someone else.”   The door to the patio was open and I threw that duck a little harder than I thought.  The dog kept going and I heard murderous screams as the dog followed the little duck over the 2^nd floor balcony.  Ohmygoodgodalmighty.  All I heard was "Noooooo Noooooo...My Baby!!!  My Baby!" 

The Look on everyone's face...

I ran out the door and started searching for a tiny dead dog as the rest of the group slowly followed me out.  He must have hit the trees and catapulted into a bush 10 feet further away or was so disoriented from the fall he walked in the wrong direction.  That little dog was creeping out of the bushes.  I walked over to pick him up and he cowered and yelped.  I managed to pick him up and turned around to find half of the party out there staring at me in disbelief, anger, and awe.  Someone was upstairs trying to calm Judy, but we could still hear her screaming crying out of the still open patio door.  He was checked out and moved as far away from me as possible.  He seemed to be fine despite being incredibly skittish and scared, especially of me.  As we were following the crowd back upstairs Matt took me aside and I verbalized what his eyes seemed to be screaming at me, ”Lets go.  Please let’s just get out of here.”  He calmly nodded and said “Are you ok?”  I hate that question because it always seems to make me think twice.  Am I really ok?  Ten people at a random party hate me and rightfully so I almost killed their friends dog.  Gotta keep it together!  "Yeah I'm fine, I just want to go home.  This has been disastrous."  

 

When we went to collect my purse and give them my information should their dog die of a brain hemorrhage in the night, Judy the hostess, said “Please don’t go, he’s alright.  I’m sorry I was so hysterical.  It was shocking to see that.  He's my baby.”  To my surprise the rest of the group chimed in their protests of us leaving.  One of the guys shouted ‘Hey if it wasn’t you, it was going to be me!  That dog finally became bearable.”  His wife promptly followed up his statement with a bony elbow jab to the ribs. 

Still ever so determined to leave with a friend I decided to stay.  In retrospect I should have gone home on the only high note I would ever get that night.

The birthday girl McKenzie offered me a seat next to her.  I had at least made it to the girl couch!  Matt sent me a mental high five and I felt oddly like I was finally being included.  We finished cranium and started on Pictionary.  Midway through our major winning streak the guy wandered over to the kitchen.  McKenzie and I were discussing and she said “Wrangle them!  It’s their turn…what are they doing over there.”  I stood up next to where we were sitting and said “Guys!  It’s your turn…"  It looked like quite a bit of action and I kept trying to look around a pillar that was blocking my site.  Still no response from them.  "What are you all doing in there? [Stepped around the pillar] Why are you all lighting all those candles?  Is that a Caayyyyyyyy…..Oh my god.”

I ruined the surprise.  The guys were in the kitchen lighting candles for McKenzie’s cake.  As I abruptly sat back down I could feel the glares and nasty vibes darting towards me.  I just ruined someone’s surprise.  Despite my shouting the guys came out and McKenzie pretended to be surprised and excited.  When they walked back to the kitchen to cut the cake she leaned over and tried to soften the blow “I saw the cake in there when I went to grab some wine.  Don’t worry.”  At this point there was no questioning if we should stay or not.  Matt walked up right next to me and started with the goodbye’s and I grabbed my purse and backed up towards the door not knowing what to say.  ‘Thanks for having me’ didn’t seem appropriate ‘My bad’ didn’t seem sufficient.  So I just settled for a solid hand wave.  As I turned around to reach for the door my foot caught the edge of the Tiffany’s boxes and sent them both toppling over.  I tried to pick them up and Judy came running over, crying.  Again.   

“Just go…Just go.”  As I tried to tell her I would pay her for them she just put her hands over her face and her husband gave Mark a handshake and we were out of there. 

As we got into the elevator I made myself look over at Matt.  I just ruined this guy's first ever couples game night.  Matt was staring at the floor.  He could feel my eyes on him now, “Wow.  Just wow.  I’m amazed that all of that happened in the span of 5hrs.  You're like....like...Wow.  Just wow.  I have no words.”  I had no words, but was comforted that as I got into the car Matt closed my door and finally laughed. 

What I looked like when I got home, Plus a glass of wine.

A funny thing happened on the way to my grandpa's funeral...

I had been in Dallas for two weeks when I found out my Grandfather had abruptly passed away.  He was living in my hometown which is 510miles away from Dallas.  I decided to drive to make it easier on my mom and it would give me some time to think.  

On the way to my grandpa’s funeral I realized I had a solid 9hrs of driving ahead of me.  I would pick my mom up half way through the trip so for 4hrs of the trip I would be left with my thoughts.  After going through a catalog of memories about my grandparents and passing through the towns that all my ex’s lived in I was glad to pick my mom up from the San Antonio airport.  Looking at my mom and realizing that she lost both of her parents made me feel terrible for her.  I’m, self admittedly, not the best daughter.  I roll my eyes a little too often, I’m not a big hugger, and I get snippy too often.  These two deaths have made me realize how much I need to actually try to talk and get to know my mom rather than give her a hard time for things she did 20yrs ago.  We had 4hrs left to drive down to the tip of Texas and I was all effort.  We started off with a great lunch at Chic-Fil-A and then set off to chat more and catch up on what’s new in each other’s lives. 

However, after riding in my car for 30min my mom and I realized that something wasn’t quite right with her car.  She, not self admittedly, is a terrible car owner.  She thinks oil changes are optional, food in the car is acceptable, and carrying huge pieces of raw wood in a tiny Mercedes CLK convertible is normal.  At the 70min mark of our 4hr trip we realized our A/C was out.  It felt like the inside of the car was slowly turning into a broiler and we were starting to sweat through our clothing.  My mom has a flare for the dramatic side and after multiple huffs and puffs and threats of near fainting my mom rolled down the windows and threw her arms and almost her entire body out of the window.  She then shouted over the hot wind blowing through the car “Oh my goodness….Clara….not even this is helping.”  She threw her body against the seat and pushed her hair up into a pony tail and proceeded to close her eyes as if she was being tortured.  "This.Is.Miserable."  After she rolled down the windows any semblance of cool air in the car was sucked out the window so I too decided I had to figure something out.  Skinny Jeans, button down loose silk top with closed toe ballet flats was not an ideal outfit for a 98 degree day in Texas.  Seriously what was I thinking and where was I going in my fancy outfit?!  I kept repeating Why didn't I wear shorts in my head.  I ended up unbuttoning my blouse leaving just one button attached, and my mom said “Great idea!  Maybe we should just take our shirts off we’re sweating through them anyway!”  Hmmm....  

You know that you might be facing heat exhaustion if this seems like a good idea.  We arrived at hour 3 of heat torture and we decided it would be best if we kept our clothes since we were heading to a small town and the prospect of seeing people we knew was in the 90th percentile.  Plus I have a real knack for getting pulled over and I figured the police officer, while briefly amused, still might give us a ticket for indecent exposure.  We finally made it the rest of the way dripping sweat like Shaq in the 4^th Quarter of an NBA playoff game.   When we reached the house that I grew up in we raced inside to turn on the A/C but as we reached the kitchen we already felt extreme cold air blowing through the house.   

My mom was visibly irritated and started stomping towards the thermostat “You know what I bet Uncle Robert didn’t turn off the AC last time he was here!  I can’t believe it!  I can’t believe it!  I CANNOT BELIEVE IT!  I told him three times before he left!” My obnoxiousness knows no bounds and I said "Maybe the fourth time was the charm in that scenario."  She looked back at me and I realized how I so easily went pro in eye rolling.  So as we both rushed over to the AC to check the thermostat we began laughing hysterically, the AC was in fact off.  The temperature in the house read a cool…88 degrees.  

And that my friends is how I was officially welcomed back to Texas.       

What's it like to go on a real blind date?

As I walked into Whole Foods to go grocery shop I saw the sign "Wine Class: California Reds" and I remembered my gift card my friend Sara had gotten me.  I decided to delay grocery shopping and jump into the class.  It turned out to be a small group of 5 at a huge table for 10+.  On my right sat two handsome gentleman and across from us was a disgruntled married couple who couldn't seem to agree on anything except coming to the class. 

I'm a bit of a nerd and during these tastings (or any classroom setting) I tend to ask questions.  So much so that we had moved onto the 4th wine and our teacher said "Does anyone have a question on this one?" and the sassy guy to the right of me with mismatched colored clothes said "I bet she has a question!"  I kept my head facing forward, slowly moved my eyeballs to the right and tightened my lips.  What a jerk.  Then I followed it up with an intense eye roll that gave me a headache 5min later.  The guy's friend who was sandwiched to the right of mismatch guy whispered "Way to go man...She hates you for sure."  Guy to my right let out a smirky one note laugh and kept on sipping his wine.  Towards the end of class I was tipsy, sassy, and felt the need to say something about his comment that had been festering inside. 

I turned to him and said in a playful way "So are you a comedian?  Just hate questions?  Or what?"  His response, "Wow that has been bothering you this entire time?"  I couldn't deny it.  I was irritated through the last two bottles of wine we tasted.  I could feel the spotlight on me and I was about to get red.  Before I could comment the couple across from me chimed in.

Wife:  Well.  It was kind of rude and pointed
Husband:  It was not...Babe!  Do not get involved. 
Wife:  It was rude!  If you said that to me I would have left
Husband:  Well I'm going to be the one leaving.  You're meddling and you're being loud.  You have had way too much wine.
Wife:  I AM NOT being loud!  You could have just not said anything.....let me make a comment....ughhhhh...it wasn't even to you....
Snarky Guy:  Ok Ok...it was a bit rude.  Let's just call it a day.
Me:  [Whispering to the lady across from me] Thanks
Snarky Guy:  Oh no you didn't!
Me:  Oh come on.  Someone had to defend me I'm the lone ranger here at this table.
Guy to my Right:  True True.  So is Lone Ranger what your parents call you?

We ended up talking well past the length of class and flirted back and forth.  The one thing that bothered me is that he constantly looked at his wine glass.  His friend Len returned with their week of groceries and as we got up to walk out I saw him feeling up the table.  I just chalked it up to being tipsy but his friend said "So he hasn't told you his story?"  Turns out a few years ago he was in an accident and had become blind in both eyes.  I was just a chatty blurb of greyish white to him.  I stood in silence and didn't quite know how to respond.  He shook my hand and said "It was nice to meet you Lone Ranger."    He had the most amazing blueish green eyes with specks of brown.  We stood there shaking hands for a bit longer than is socially acceptable and he said "Wow you're really into me.  I can feel your smile."  I was smiling.  Just as he was about to walk past me I said "So are you coming back next Sunday for New Zealand Whites?"  He responded "No, but I will see you on Thursday if you're free."  

To be Continued... 

Speak Softly and Carry a big handbag...

I will be catching up on blog postings from the last three months...So get ready to see some stories!  Sorry I've been M.I.A. turns out moving is really insane especially when you're traveling for 10 days at a time. I wasn't sure if I was going to post this one it happened back in early February and I didn't want to freak my family out (again) but let the freak out begin.  This story was from when I was still located in Chicago.

So when I come home any time after dark and have to take the brown line I try to hurry because for 3 blocks it is a bit sketchy. And as everyone knows or has read, I seem to be a magnet for mayhem but mostly a theft target. Turns out Dateline's special on "How to avoid being a criminal's target" was not that useful for me.

As I was coming back from a friends apartment on the brown line around 10:30pm I was rushing to cross sedgwick headed East to my neighborhood and a kid reached towards my ear and gripped the phone that I was speaking on. I happened to be on the phone with my friend at the time.  He wanted to make sure I got home alright since I was taking public transportation so late.  The anger that I harbored for weeks after my first iPhone was stolen rushed with a fury through my body and specifically my arm.  I screamed and held onto my entire ear and swung my over sized Balenciaga handbag into his mouth. Luckily my large and incredibly heavy bag has large metal rivets that protrude outward and one caught him right in the lip along with my work blackberry that I carry in the front zip pocket. The kid grabbed his mouth and I ran (in the wrong direction) before he could lunge toward me.

As my adrenaline wore off my senses started to come back and I realized I was running the wrong way.  I finally heard behind me a man impatiently shouting "HEY! HEY!" I was so thankful ffortunately someone from the Dunkin Donuts on the corner (right next to the check cashing/pawn shop place) saw what had happened and ran out to help. Unfortunately the guy only saw me hit this kid in the mouth with my handbag and was making a run towards ME!

The kid had run off heading south and I couldn't explain fast enough that I was the victim and NOT the culprit. Once I finally got the words out the short and stout man released me from what I'm thinking was an attempted citizen's arrest and told me I was "crazy" and that he could have had a gun. I hadn't really thought about it since the other crimes committed against me were considered "Strong arm robbery without a weapon." Either way I still have my iPhone and the score is now Clara 1 - Criminals 2.  Side note:  I did take a $3.50 cab ride home. 

The Emotional Man

So I went on a dating sabbatical just long enough to be amazing at work and lose some weight.  Woohoo me!  However this got me promoted to a new position and asked out on more dates.  I decided to accept a date from someone that I met at a Birthday Party for my friend Crystal.  It was a trolley ride and I was wearing a blue wig.  Luckily he didn't mind.  The week after the party he asked me out on a dinner date to a place called Piece.  If you are ever in Chicago you should stop by...it's also a brewery and it's a change from all of the deep dish Chicago Style pizza.

Anyhoo our dated started out really well.  I had those butterfly jitters he turned out to be a really interesting guy. Actually I only really say that because I could see him getting along with my Dad's.  He loves to golf, talk business, loves sports, and he's just very manly.  Everything about him just exudes testosterone, sweat, and bulging muscles.  I mean everything from the way he walked confidently, then put his hand on my lower back guiding me to the table, to the way he pulled out my chair and almost set me in it because yes he's that tall and strong.  As we continued I learned that he's a bit of an elitest music expert; meaning he only listens to bands that 90% of the world hasn't heard and then when you say "No I don't know that band" he kind of snickers and explains their "sound" to you.  Miniature Tigers anyone?  As the conversation progressed and our pizza made it's entrance he asked "So when was your last serious relationship?"  I told him about it in vague detail and then passed the question baton back to him.  However he didn't reach for it as eagerly as I thought he would instead he got very choked up.  The testosterone Man had been overcome by emotion and my novice skills as a wannabe therapist took over.  "Are you ok?  We don't have to talk about it."  This was a total lie, I wanted to know everything and be the one to help fix it.  The "All Man" Man turned into a volcano of emotions.  What the heck happened with this relationship?  My friend LT always says "Men tell you who they are by the stories they tell about their lives."  This was going to be a telling story I didn't want to miss out on!

I will never get why some guys do that.  They put all their emotions into a pit for safe keeping and then when you least expect it a question mark is thrown in and lava tears push their way out.  He pulled it together and the testosterone facade was back up.  We sat in silence and I am pretty sure I had "What the heck just happened?" painted on my face.  Then he said "Nah, it's no big deal.  We just broke up 21 months ago and it was kind of....."  He didn't finish so I started throwing adjectives at him.  "Tough, Troubling, Terrible?"  Not sure why they all started with T but whatever.

It was troubling to me that he knew the exact date (and i'm sure the time) of when they broke up so I mentioned that it was a pretty specific time frame compared to my "I think it was like a year or two ago" comment.  Then the lava tears came, all the way out this time.  He brushed them back quickly and covered his face.  When I see someone in pain, physical or emotional, I get this pain in my stomach and my nerve endings start pulsing and then I feel a type of pain.  This is probably why I get "weird" when I see people cry.  I have no idea what to do and I'm overcome myself with a terrible feeling so I usually flee or fix the situation.

After many questions I found out in eeked out sentences that this girl broke his heart and his year at one of the most vulnerable times in a guys life.  We keep talking for about an hour but we both didn't want to end the therapy session date on a sour note so we agree to get a drink at a bar.

However we couldn't go to the bar that I chose because he never called one of the girls that works there back.  It looks like I can give him his man card back.

Big News

Today I found out that I will be heading to Dallas for a new job opportunity.  I'm from Texas so my entire family was thrilled with the news.  Each of my parents got special phone calls and when I reached my mom this was how the conversation played out...


Mom:  Hola Clarita!  
Me: Hey Mom...Are you sitting down?
Mom:  Why?  Do you have news?
Me:  Yes I have big news.  Wait did you talk to people already?
Mom:  No, No, No Tell me!  Oh gosh what's going on?
Me:  Well I was calling to tell you that..

Mom:  [shouting] YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!
Me:  Uh What?!  Mom. Seriously?  I'm not even dating anyone right now.
Mom:  Oh ok.  I just figured well...I don't know I was hoping.  Umm. Well. Oh.  Ok so what's the news?
Me:  Oh.  I'm just...I'm moving to Dallas
Mom:  Well that's fun too!  Can I decorate your new place?


Watch out Texas...Here I come!

Looking Back...

I know they say not to look back but instead to always look forward instead.  I think those people are wrong.  I think it's great to look back on the memories, the laughter, the great and sometimes sad things that happened over the year.  This took a while but was well worth it.  I have found a way to quantify my joy and it's in photos and paragraphs summing up my year.
**Feel free to remind me or send me photos of anything I might have forgotten or missed.  I'd love to add it to the huge posting I have here.

January - I made a pact to be single for one whole year and document it.  Mission accomplished.  I started the year out with Katie Kat my sometimes roomie who came to visit and and start wedding plans.  I was also punched in the eye by an overzealous fist pumping suburbanite cougar at the SuperDiamond concert.  The concerts and the fans did not disappoint. 

February - I met that Military guy who, despite our terrible dates and my allergic reaction, is still my friend.  I also spent time with my younger brother which I had not done in quite some time.  We had a great time and part of that was due to a very memorable Valentines Day dinner hosted by Cheeky Chicago.  My neighbor Dorothy, my friend Andrea, and My Co-worker Mario all joined us for a rich dinner at Naha.  Next my brother and I flew to meet our new and very cute nephews in Ft. Worth Texas!  I was home for a week then I flew to Atlanta to see my very pregnant bestie Sara and act as her surrogate liver so that her husband could enjoy the wine tasting party and not feel guilty.

My Crazy little brother

Gift from Reza 

Gavin & I

March - I managed to put my brave girl pants on and jump into Lake Michigan as a part of the polar plunge.  It was a whopping 30 degrees and my friends Kat, Laura, and Paige went to cheer me on.  On St. Patty's day I spent the frigid day on the Nike boat drinking hot coco with Laura and dancing with our light up kanye glasses. I later met up with Beth, her friend from CT, Tyler, and a sombrero wearing Kat.  Later I hopped a last minute flight and went to Costa Rica with Kris, a guy I hadn't known very well.  We went white water rafting, zip lining, mudding I mean 4Wheeling, surfing, picked up hitchhikers, and swam in the magical tabacon hot springs.  I'm so thankful our trip went well because it could have been terrible to be stuck with a zero fun person for a week.  Now our friendship is one that I value greatly.  At the end of this crazy month I organized a crazy tour with a company called Weird Chicago that took us on a ghost and sex dungeon tour in Chicago.  The dominatrix whose place we saw has now been highlighted on MTV and the History Channel.  It's also 2 blocks away from my office downtown in the loop. 

April - I had my 5th Annual "Welcome Back Jesus" Party also known as Easter.  There were actually more Jewish people at the party than there were Christians!  We hid eggs in Lincoln Park and smashed cascarones on each others heads too.  I also went to a kick ass Atoms for Peace concert with Katz at the Aragon.  Flea was amazing and we were very close to the front of the stage along with a guy who smelled like drugs.  I ended up going to 7 Cubs Games this month with various friends, got a ride home in someone's unused limo, had a Zack attack, and fell so badly that my knee was bruised for 4 weeks.  Later in the month SVENJA came to town and Laura left town.  We had a Debbies Daughter Does Dallas party for Laura and Svenja ended up throwing up all over my apartment like the exorcist!

May-  By this month I thought I was all Cub Gamed out but I went to 3 more games with great groups of people.  I had a blast at a derby party with Kat!  Then I went to Texas for work and spent some time with my mom and the rest of my family.  When I got back I joined Jess in crashing a wedding where I met Seth...I mean Chad.  It was a very fun affair until a little person along with other items came out from under the brides dress during what was supposed to be the garter toss.  Later I flew to New York to see the Ting Tings, hang out with scamp at a police station, and I met Dreamy Derek.  Before the month ended I caught back up with my friend Adam who I had met during a Mid 20's Spring Break the year before.  His family graciously took Kat and I out on their boat for some tan time on lake michigan.  However, he missed the last part of the party because of my Raspberry Lemonaid.  I think there might have been a tad bit of vodka in there.

June- Best Birthday Month Ever!  My friends took me out for a Tacos and Tequila night out.  Ami took me for an amazing dinner, J-dubb took me to sparkler Sushi, I got a secret birthday gift from Kris, and I went down to Nashville for CMA Fest with Meg &Sarah!  Where we got a bit punchy and enjoyed a ton of shows including a private Jack Ingram concert.  When I got home the Blackhawk's won the Stanley Cup which turned Wrigley into the most insane street party ever.  I was able to see guys dressed like they stepped out of J.Crew take shots of a homeless man's liter of coke.  It's crazy what sparklers, people jumping onto scaffolding, and throwing toilet paper will make people do.  Very fun to watch none the less.  I also got to see Gavin Rosdale at the Taste of Chicago and after so many years I finally saw Avenue Q...which was hilarious. 

July - Summer Fun was in full swing with very fun nights out with old and new friends.  I also learned how to BBQ with charcoal.  The key is to make sure your pyramid pile isn't too tight.  My brother and I also flew to see my mom's new home in Denver.  We found out she got married, celebrated, and went to a Rockie's game.  My sister Meri had a beautiful and incredibly long wedding it lasted until 6am the next day. Mexicans know how to keep a party going.  We bon voyaged the happy couple a few times that night.  When I got home I was ready to go see the Kings of Leon with Kat.  We did get rained out but we met some amazing friends on the bus ride out there along with a Tinley Park Police officer who had an affinity for stuffed animals.

August - I went to Star Island with my Dad Art, step-mom, and little sister.  We were able to swim with dolphins, feed them, go snorkeling, jet ski, and we did some relaxing.  When I got back it was Wedding Week for the Katie & Erik extravaganza!  We had so much fun and what an amazing venue the Art Institute Modern Wing!  After the Wedding action I had to head to DC and was able to meet Rev. Jesse Jackson.  Then Dreamy Derek came into town and we had an action packed weekend.  After he left I rested for a bit then went to a David Gray and Ray LaMontange concert in Millennium Park with Kat and The Italian.

September - I went on a crazy sailing lesson with Kat that ended in me getting hit on by a very nice older lesbian woman.  Cherie and I left Chicago for Vastine Wedding in what turned out to be the most exciting international Wedding I have ever been to.  We were escorted to our connecting flight on the tarmac, we went parasailing, played giant chess, had a private butler, Dies y Seis de Septiembre party, and if I remember correctly there was an interaction with a couple from Alabama that I will never forget.  When I got home my dad Art came to visit me for the 2nd time since I've been living in Chicago.  We had very close seats to home plate and had a great time going out with my friends.

October - In this month I said goodbye to my friend and former make-up artist Louis Anthony at first friday at the museum of contemporary art.  Afterwards I spent a weekend in Seattle visiting Dreamy Derek, Katie Kat, Robynn, and Julie.  After that weekend the 22nd Floor at work welcomed Emily to Chicago! My friends also learned that I can't resist a cupcake and they should never be closer than 2ft away from me if they don't want me to swoop in and eat 'em up.  I spent a week in Texas with my former around the corner neighbor and whole foods shopping buddy Adam.  While in Dallas I also got to see my cousin Daniel who took me out for "one drink" where I proceeded to "borrow" a Tiger Woods costume from a fellow patron.  After the weekend in Dallas I had a work conference where my ultra shy friend and co-worker Christien had his annual Conference Birthday party.  From there I spent another weekend with the newly minted Vastine Family.  We had quite an exciting and controversial costume.  Before I left I was glad to spend some time with my Sister in Law!  We had a great day out with the cutest twin boys ever.  And my older brother was able to take a break from giving people tickets so he could give me a hug and chick-fil-a!  He's the best!

November - Or shall I say MOvember where almost every man I know was growing out his mustache for Testicular Cancer.  This month I went to my first Ben Folds Concert with my friend Kerry.  I was also invited to a JUF event to see Sarah Silverman perform by my new friend Ifeanyi.  My former boss Melanie invited me to a fashion show with Austin Scarlet and Santino from Project Runway which was amazing.  The 22nd Floor said goodbye to Vince with a Chicago Gangster themed party at Club Lucky in bucktown.  Everyone got nicknames too bad only Joey Tightpants can't get rid of his.  My friend Ben took me to the SOFA event at Navy Pier and I saw some unique art work and learned what goes into blowing glass.  The night before Turkey Day I spent it how I would have in Texas by going out with friends.  Which went from tame to crazy in 60 seconds after Zus performed a lap dance and the wackiest game of survivor flip cup ensued.  For Thanksgiving I took a trek up to the North Shore and was welcomed in by the Weiner Family.  They were so loving and generous I had an amazing time and came back with sore abs from laughing so hard.  I also learned a bit about a game called Zorch!  Watch out everyone...

December - The month started out really great. I was able to invite a few of my girlfriends to the IHCC Gala and we got all decked out together before we went to the event. I was able to meet Gery Chico who is running for Mayor as well as the current San Antonio Mayor.  Em and I went to my new friend Crystal's birthday which had a Wig Theme.  The same night my friend Kirk was in town with his band The Roots for a concert so we did both!  Kirk is one of the most generous people I have ever randomly met.  I didn't think we would still be in touch after 4+yrs but we are and I'm grateful. Then as I was gearing up for the annual Graber Girls Pot Luck my Grma (not a typo) passed away.  I flew home the next day and went alone to the funeral home to see her before she was finally laid to rest.  That was by far one of the toughest things I've ever had to do.  A very terrible way to end the year but it did bring my family closer and I got the best present from my Grma.  It may look like jewelry but the gift is really the story that we had over the ring she gave me that I remember when I look at my right hand.  After we put my Grma to rest I spent the next few days absorbing my family.  Maybe a little too much.  We had a Christmas Eve Scene It showdown where my sisters and I took home the championship.  On Christmas Day my Aunt and my mom had a fish taco showdown.  I think my Mom won...but my Aunt Sonya's "Slap yo mamma" spice rub was pretty good as well.

Lastly I'm so grateful to all my family, my old friends, and my new friends.  This year is dedicated to a special lady who knew more about aquanet, bling, gold track suits, telling it like it is, laughing, loving, and living life for her family than anyone else I have ever known.  I'm sure there was a great fiesta in heaven the day she got there.

I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for all of us...