Speak Softly and Carry a big handbag...

I will be catching up on blog postings from the last three months...So get ready to see some stories!  Sorry I've been M.I.A. turns out moving is really insane especially when you're traveling for 10 days at a time. I wasn't sure if I was going to post this one it happened back in early February and I didn't want to freak my family out (again) but let the freak out begin.  This story was from when I was still located in Chicago.

So when I come home any time after dark and have to take the brown line I try to hurry because for 3 blocks it is a bit sketchy. And as everyone knows or has read, I seem to be a magnet for mayhem but mostly a theft target. Turns out Dateline's special on "How to avoid being a criminal's target" was not that useful for me.

As I was coming back from a friends apartment on the brown line around 10:30pm I was rushing to cross sedgwick headed East to my neighborhood and a kid reached towards my ear and gripped the phone that I was speaking on. I happened to be on the phone with my friend at the time.  He wanted to make sure I got home alright since I was taking public transportation so late.  The anger that I harbored for weeks after my first iPhone was stolen rushed with a fury through my body and specifically my arm.  I screamed and held onto my entire ear and swung my over sized Balenciaga handbag into his mouth. Luckily my large and incredibly heavy bag has large metal rivets that protrude outward and one caught him right in the lip along with my work blackberry that I carry in the front zip pocket. The kid grabbed his mouth and I ran (in the wrong direction) before he could lunge toward me.

As my adrenaline wore off my senses started to come back and I realized I was running the wrong way.  I finally heard behind me a man impatiently shouting "HEY! HEY!" I was so thankful ffortunately someone from the Dunkin Donuts on the corner (right next to the check cashing/pawn shop place) saw what had happened and ran out to help. Unfortunately the guy only saw me hit this kid in the mouth with my handbag and was making a run towards ME!

The kid had run off heading south and I couldn't explain fast enough that I was the victim and NOT the culprit. Once I finally got the words out the short and stout man released me from what I'm thinking was an attempted citizen's arrest and told me I was "crazy" and that he could have had a gun. I hadn't really thought about it since the other crimes committed against me were considered "Strong arm robbery without a weapon." Either way I still have my iPhone and the score is now Clara 1 - Criminals 2.  Side note:  I did take a $3.50 cab ride home. 

I was Robbed Part Deux

When I was very little I used to think that I was God's favorite. It always seemed like things went my way:  I got to sit in front with my Dad Gary on road trips, I was co-pilot on flights, my brothers let me pick what we watched on TV (it helped that I loved The Ninja Turtles), and it seemed like all my prayers were answered.  I usually prayed that I would be asked by my parents to be in charge while they were out, getting to have a friends stay over, or getting pizza on Friday nights.  The Jesus brown nosing started early as my friends Josh M. & Chris O. can attest, I always tried to get the highest score when my Mom asked us "How many things did you learn in Church?"  Who ever learned the most was able to pick the restaurant for lunch.  I also remembered to say Thank You to the Big Man Upstairs so I figured I ranked so high because of my simple requests and manners.

As of late it seems that maybe I used up all my prayers.  While I am not one to believe in "luck", I think mine has run out.  To me luck is just what people who aren't motivated/determined/dedicated etc. blame situations on when they don't go right.  Or as my Dad would say Luck = Preparation + Opportunity.  However I'm not sure how that definition can explain the fact that I have now had my iPhone stolen twice and this time my ID, credit cards, purse, and favorite lip gloss accompanied the phone.  I have become so addicted to my iPhone that I paid $600 for the one that I currently lost!  At the time it seemed like a good idea.  Now, not so much.  The fact that I was dancing with a police officer at the time my purse was pilfered only adds comedic relief to the situation.  Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? 

So I have decided that God has been trying to tell me something.  He's actually been trying to get my attention for a while now...He even appeared in my bruise/stress fracture.  Check that out!

What God is trying to tell me is a different story entirely.  And that I will need to figure out.  Although I have a feeling that the message will probably get an expedited delivery since I know I will make #1 Prayer Request in my mom's Bible study again after this posting.  Hello Ladies!  Not to worry the rest of the trip was amazing and fun doesn't even begin to describe it.  I had an action packed weekend with 6 amazing women and Jackson although I think he slept in Sara's belly most of the time.

Until then I will just have to see Him when I'm #upintheair because that is as physically close as I can get until Sunday.  I do hope the good luck comes back because [in the very Seattle words of Robynn] "this is killing my spirit." 

I was Robbed

I can't imagine what you are thinking reading the title of this blog so I'll just repeat myself.  I was robbed.  It happened yesterday evening on the green line.  I was riding home and planning to switch over to the brown line.  I was contemplating my next scrabble move with Jaime and texting someone I was supposed to meet up for a date.  When out of no where I see these dark hands cover my hand and iPhone and then they start pulling.  My first thought was What is happening?  Well I start pulling back and this angers this 13yr old creep so he punches me center in the chest.  Looking back I wish I could say I kicked him in the knees or something, but I was totally shocked.  I spent all day thinking of what I should give up for lent and now all I could think was that I wish that kid had given up stealing for lent. 

I decided to grab my stuff (laptop bag, cracker barrel bag, and purse) and run after him.  I was abruptly blocked by another man who had two huge diamond earrings which I'm sure were probably subsidized by illegal iPhone sales.  He then says to me "He's gone girl...ain't no point."  So I shoved him and started running and screaming "SOMEONE GET THAT KID!  CALL THE POLICE!"  The kid turned back but he was pretty far down the platform.  A CTA manager jumped off the train and ran after him also.  I got to the bottom of the tracks but no doubt my yellow rain boots and ridiculous baggage probably didn't allow me to be lightning fast.  He was in fact "gone girl."  So now my mind is flipping out.  What the heck did I have on there?!  How am I going to call my date?! 

The CTA employee catches up to me since I was planning on just leaving and going home to change and get ready.  She was incredibly nice and called the CTA Police to do a camera scan and send the image of the kid over to the Chicago P.D.  We waited for 20min and finally the police showed up.  While we were standing there these group of kids walked by and it looked exactly like grey jacket with the huge diamond earrings.  If there is one thing I remember it's clothing.  They stopped the green line train and I had to board the train and ID this kid.  I felt awful because what if it wasn't him and he just so happened to be wearing the same gray jacket with eagle pendant on the side and jeans down to his knees.  The police took him off the train and searched him asked him where he was coming from etc.  He got really pissed and started saying I was racist and that I just picked the first black man I saw.  Ummm seriously?!  There were no white people on that platform at all. 

His friends get really upset and they get off the train and start screaming at me to which the 2nd police officer asked them if they wanted to get arrested.  Then he said "Look, if it was your sister you'd be saying 'is this the guy?!  I'm going to get him!"  Which I can totally picture the men in my family doing especially after they find out someone has punched me just to take something.  They get his information and we go downstairs.  It's now 5:55pm.  My date is at 6:30 I NEED to go home.  And yes I was terrified of being late, I figured my iPhone and chances of bruising were lost causes.  I need to get the smell of traveling on the 'el' off me.  We go downstairs and I give my statement and report and am classified as a Strong Arm Robbery w/No Weapon.  Awesome.  They also keep radioing in that the "victim needs to make it home for a date."  Apparently dispatch loved this so they said "Really?  With who?  Does she have his drivers license number?  We can find out about his priors."  This kind of softens me up and we end up talking for the next 20min about these police officers lives.  Officer Powell has been on the force 30yrs and recently had to bring her step son in because she found out he robbed someone.  I asked her if that was tough and she said "Girl it was one less mouth to feed for a week.  We did not bail his a-- out."  I immediately like her for that statement. 

Officer McGreedy (I am probably not spelling his name right) was really nice and he said "Lets take you home."  While the thought of going home in a police car was not exactly appealing I needed to get home ASAP.  They even let me ride in the front.  I think they could tell I was stressing out (about the date not the phone) and they asked if I wanted to turn on the sirens.  How could I pass that up?!  We only passed through 2 lights and I did feel guilty about making other people slow down but I figured I just cashed in on the ridiculous taxes I owe to the state of IL this year.  I got home and they both got out and gave me a hug said I was a funny girl despite what happened and that if I needed to call them back after they date they would be glad to since they were on overtime. 

You might be asking why the heck are you in Chicago?  I am asking myself the same thing.  Since I have been here I have witnessed a stabbing on my way to Rob W's Bronzville party, I had a stalker that my doorman at PT had to take down, I was attacked by a homeless man on my way to French class, a guy robbing a Walgreen's ran right into me and knocked me out, I have been hit by two cars downtown, I was attacked while running at night, I was assaulted at the Merchandise Mart stop on St. Paddy's day last year, and now I have been robbed.  I honestly have to be the worst statistic in Chicago at this point.  And if anyone has a job in Texas or really any other place in the world let me know.  At least you know why I started this blog.