Last night I went out with five very fun girlfriends. It seems like the Turkey Dump (Just Bing it, you'll see) happened early this year and now that some of my friends are newly single a party was in order. We had a great sushi dinner then decided to head out to a pretty swanky place in Chicago. As I made my way to the bar to order a 2nd drink a guy five people away was shouting down the bar in my direction "VIVIAN! VIVIAN!" I looked over and gave him a tight lipped "wow you're embarrassing yourself" smile. He kept shouting and was now waving his hands like his fingers were getting an electric shock. Eventually he stopped and I'm assuming he found Vivian. However, the bartender walked over with a drink and said "Hey this is for Vivian." I looked at the girl next to me who was not paying attention and I nudged her and said "Hey! Someone bought you a drink." The very snooty and unrealistically blond girl responds with "I'm not Vivian or with that crazy guy." The bartender leaned across the bar and shouting over the loud music said, "NO YOU!" I pointed to myself as most people do when they are confused.
I grabbed the drink and walked over to explain to the guy that I am not Vivian. As soon as I walked over he leaned down and said, "Hey!! How have you been?" I have no clue who this guy is. I felt bad breaking it to him but couldn't accept the drink "I don't think we've met." He then explained where we met and I was yanked back to the memory. It was at a bar party in Chicago and I was there to meet up with a friend from Texas who I had not seen in a long time. I didn't think I would ever run into any of the people at the party again, and I was also bored out of my mind, so I created a fake name and job. That night I became a professional bowler named Vivian, had been in the league 4yrs hoping to go pro and make it onto ESPN3 some day. I stopped short of giving bowling advice. My side job was cutting hair in the suburbs so I gave hair advice instead. Ahhh...The things people do when they are bored.
As he was talking I found out his name was Kevin. I now had an issue, my oldest brother is named Kevin, I can't fake number him or be rude and walk away after he bought me a drink. I think it's harder to hurt someones feelings if they share the same name as a family member or close friend. I didn't have the heart to tell him and I also had already sipped half the drink during his lengthy story about a tax law case that was currently in mediation. So I was Vivian again and I spoke with him for way too long because I ended up losing my friends and felt obligated to give him my phone number. I still could not break the news via text the following day.
Lesson Learned: Always re-think the phrase "You will never see any of these people again." Oh and make sure you end the impersonator joke the same evening, it's pretty hard to do 6months later.
I grabbed the drink and walked over to explain to the guy that I am not Vivian. As soon as I walked over he leaned down and said, "Hey!! How have you been?" I have no clue who this guy is. I felt bad breaking it to him but couldn't accept the drink "I don't think we've met." He then explained where we met and I was yanked back to the memory. It was at a bar party in Chicago and I was there to meet up with a friend from Texas who I had not seen in a long time. I didn't think I would ever run into any of the people at the party again, and I was also bored out of my mind, so I created a fake name and job. That night I became a professional bowler named Vivian, had been in the league 4yrs hoping to go pro and make it onto ESPN3 some day. I stopped short of giving bowling advice. My side job was cutting hair in the suburbs so I gave hair advice instead. Ahhh...The things people do when they are bored.
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As he was talking I found out his name was Kevin. I now had an issue, my oldest brother is named Kevin, I can't fake number him or be rude and walk away after he bought me a drink. I think it's harder to hurt someones feelings if they share the same name as a family member or close friend. I didn't have the heart to tell him and I also had already sipped half the drink during his lengthy story about a tax law case that was currently in mediation. So I was Vivian again and I spoke with him for way too long because I ended up losing my friends and felt obligated to give him my phone number. I still could not break the news via text the following day.
Lesson Learned: Always re-think the phrase "You will never see any of these people again." Oh and make sure you end the impersonator joke the same evening, it's pretty hard to do 6months later.
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