Wedding Crashers

We have all seen the movie and Saturday May 8th I lived it.  A good friend Kiki called and told me that her friends were in need of some ladies to attend a wedding because they had extra seating available.  I should also mention that Kiki was a second string bridesmaid that was called up from the minors to become a part of the wedding ensemble.

After receiving the invite 24hrs prior to the wedding I decided t would be a fantastic way to spend a Saturday.  I love weddings, cake, and dancing so I was an easy sell.  I decided it would be necessary to have a date so I asked if Jess would come along.  The morning of the wedding she texted that she was in for the party!  We decided that we would attend the dinner that way it would be easier to mingle and make friends prior to the dancing.

This all SEEMED like a good idea until we actually got to the hotel.  A wave of panic flooded my nervous system the fun started running away and I was paralyzed at the bar waiting for Jess to show up.  As soon as she showed up with a huge smile and a "are you ready to do this attitude" we walked up the stairs to the cocktail reception.  We got glasses of wine, checked our coats, and started to mingle and snack.  Just as the buzz was setting in they rang the chimes for dinner to begin.  That's when the first problem arose...Where are we supposed to sit?  Kiki was off taking photos and couldn't be reached so we had to approach the wedding coordinator and come up with a nifty story.  So we casually walked over and explained to her that we were late to RSVP and did not have a table assignment.  Luckily she said "Oh there is plenty of room, you're going to be at Table 15."  Crisis averted!

When we arrived at the table there was a lovely couple already seated, Candace & her boyfriend.  And then there were four guys taking a seat as we chose ours.  Since no one at the table knew each other aside from the people we came with introductions started and we tried to avoid answering the "how do you know the bride and groom?"  We were so concerned about what we were going to wear to the wedding that we forgot to conjure up a back story.  So when Chad and Jeff leaned over towards Jessica and said "So whose side are you on?"  Her eyes opened extremely wide and her lips parted but nothing came out and in almost a gust of breath out came "Both."  It felt as if everyone was staring so I said "Well we know the bride a bit more."  I also could not remember their names for the life of me so I said "So how about you two?"  They pointed to the two other guys at the table and said "We don't know either of them...we are their dates."  So we admitted that we really didn't know either and were called the day before to see if we could attend.  The same story happened on their end and they were quick to poke fun at Jess for the awkward "Uh both" comment.

The night turned out to be a really fun night filled with some really funny comments and moments.  I was made fun of next for saying "Well if I was Mexican...well wait I am Mexican but..." I didn't get the last part of the sentence out because everyone was laughing so hard.  I also managed to call Chad by the wrong name, Seth, while asking him to take a photo of Jess and I.  We also gave our waiter a nickname:  Gene Gene the dancing Machine.  And last but not least there was one girl who had been over-served and she made quite a spectacle of herself.  This girl had a purple dress and neon green pumps and handbag she stood out pretty well so it wasn't hard to spot her flailing and eventually passing out on the dance floor.  She then rolled over and decided although her dress was over her head that she wanted to take a nap.  Her boyfriend who was quite lanky could hardly pick her up so he decided it would be better to drag her perpendicular body over to a chair and prop her up.  She looked like the female version of Bernie from A Weekend at Bernie's.  Eventually she took a break but the same thing happened about 2 seconds after she got back on the dance floor.  The groom had this to say about her behavior, "In Jen's defense, she probably thought the cheese plate during cocktail hour was dinner.  That was before she started showing everyone how she's the master of a new dance move called 'the bomb scare' - you drop to the floor randomly!" 


The most shocking part of the night came during the garter toss.  All the guys were out on the dance floor and the groom went to grab the garter from under the dress.  He pulled out a toy baby, a huge foam casino chip, a baseball glove, a bat, endless ribbon, and last but not least he was struggling with something.  Everyone leaned in closer to see what he was tugging.  The brides dress lifted up slightly to show a set of hands and a little person dressed as a leprechaun popped out!

Overall the wedding was awesome the food was amazing, the champagne was flowing, and the dance floor lit up!  Although if I ever crash a wedding again I will watch the movie prior, there is a reason for the rules!