Junk Punch

I try to check my iPhone's CTA Tracker App every morning to make sure that I don't have to wait out in the cold. However my elevator is quite unpredictable. I had to wait 4minutes for an elevator at 7:45! So as soon as the doors opened on the first floor I bolted out and said my usual "Have a great day Willie!" to my maintenance/package receiving man. He's a nice guy and sometimes if I know I'm going to miss the bus I'll chat with him a bit. It doesn't hurt and I'm probably the only person who gets package notices on Saturday even if normal deliver hours have passed. One more validation that I'm special.

I ran out the backdoor and I have to cross La Salle it's a two way 4 lane road that can sometimes resemble a game of frogger especially since I don't use the cross walk when I'm in a hurry or when the light is green for cars. I'm fully anticipating comments from both sets of parents now after that comment. So I ran across the street, clear on both sides but the bus was pulling away. So I decide to chase the bus. I'm running along side it and I think someone probably told the bus driver that there was a girl with huge yellow rain boots and 3 bags jogging because she stopped. I was out of breath and the cold had burnt my throat so I mumbled a good morning and a customary "whooo" sigh. I swiped my card and walked to look for a spot as I was eyeing a particularly vacant seat our bus driver slammed on the breaks and I flew forward and right into the junk of a poor unsuspecting guy. I nailed him dead on in the crotch. He immediately keeled over and apologies started to fly out of my mouth. I felt really horrible and let him have the seat I was eyeing.

The seat next to him opened up and I sat down fully expecting a barrage of insults or at least a nasty glare. He looked over at me and said "Well that's a first. I'm suspecting my ex-girlfriend sent you." I responded "No, and I'm still really sorry although I might take that back when I find out what you did to her." We talked until I got to my stop and he told me the story about how she was "crazy" (I love how guys use this term so flippantly). Long story short he liked this girl until he met another "hotter girl" who turned out to be crazier. We then discussed the Vicky Mendoza (How I met your Mother) Hotness v. Crazy line graph and apparently she was more crazy than the hotness was worth.
So like any other man he went back to the not as hot girl but still kind of hot. She was an 8 and the other girl was a 9.5. I learned 9.5's are hard to find but non-crazy 9.5's are even harder to find. Ladies, learn the ratings it's important. At this point I'm pretty glad that I punched him in the junk. We didn't really get into what the 8 did but it was prompted by her finding photos of the 9.5 that he wanted to keep as mementos. So he is now single. I don't think he even thought twice about asking for my phone number after I gave him my spiel on "People tell you who they are through the stories they tell." We had a good laugh and I learned that just like men, women do not like when someone has peed on their tree.