Jenny The Jerk

So today was a particularly rough morning.  I am a part of a Run Club and I have a tough time participating since it occurs at 5am.  It starts at 5:30am but it takes me a good 10min to wrestle with my thoughts on whether or not I have a good reason to skip out.  Today I lost the thought match and went.  I had not seen everyone in about 3 weeks so we were all catching up before Jerry! got there.  Jerry! needs an exclamation point after his name because anything less would not do his outrageously gay personality justice.  He shouts "Jerry's Here!" in an almost showtune manner then in singsong says "WHO'S READY TO RUH-UUN!!" 

There are 7 people in the group but I mostly chat with Sam and Ron.  Sam lives in my building he is your typical "I ate too much while my wife was pregnant" guy.  Very dry British sense of humor and some interesting running quirks.  Him and I became good friends earlier in the summer when Run Club started because we were always in last place.  Then we became great friends when my knee gave out and I accidently de-pantsed him on Lakeshore Drive while trying to grasp for something before I ate pavement.  He now runs behind me and his wife tells him to 'wear the good underwear' to go run. 

Ron is a 6'7 African American, former college basketball player who walks while we all run.  His legs start where my chest begins.  Ron and I met prior to run club, but I told him to join because his girlfriend was trying to lose weight.  She used to shout at him in Spanish and we became friends because I was able to decode what she was saying.  She later decided running was not for her.  He still comes to run/wak because he's technically supposed to wait on running until he's completed rehab for his busted knee.  I'm sure when it's better he'll be in the 7min mile group.

So when I got to Run Club, which is one block away from my apartment, I came up behind everyone and shouted as if I was Jerry!  Everyone laughed except for someone I'll call Jenny.  Jenny is awkward, rude, and mean.  In our entire class not one person likes her and if you let her speak to you for too long she'll walk away leaving you feeling insecure and uncomfortable.  I try to be nice to her since I can tell she just hasn't been "socialized" and lacks social conversational skills.  Jenny usually comes to run club looking like Under Armour threw up on her.  Her dyed blond hair is perfectly coifed, she has a full face of make-up, and a variety of designer jewelry on.  I on the other hand usually come in wrinkled t-shirts, sports watch, and 'I just woke up' hair.  Jenny probably wakes up at 4am to get all dolled up and we have concluded that this might be why she is in a bad mood every morning.  Sam believes differently.  He said "She's married, she knows that she never has to get another person to like her ever again."  We have labeled her Jenny the Jerk because she is rude to everyone but she especially has it out for me.

I'm not quite sure why she likes to pick on me since I am in a good mood (I'm a morning person), I don't talk to her (No one does) and I look awful (Zero competition for her).  She tends to give backhanded compliments like "You look good today for a change."  Or she makes snide remarks about what people wear "Wow, Shana with that purple combo we have a stuffed dinosaur leading our group today."  She reminds me of my elementery school bully Elizabeth.  Elizabeth hit her growth spurt early so she was about a foot taller than everyone including the boys and was stronger than the Hulk.  She used to push me around and call me shrimp.  One day our teacher called us all out by full name...Elizabeth Ann Townsend.  E.A.T.  As soon as I worked those initials into a few snarky comments the bullying relationship was flipped and I was able to enjoy eating in the cafeteria and running around on the blacktop with no fear.

As our running group was waiting for Jerry! 4 of us were catching up and discussing what I had missed out on when Jenny showed up.  She saw us talking and decided she wanted to engage and interupt our conversation.
"Well Well look who is back.  Someone decided to get out of bed...Barely."
"Yeah, I tried to get as much sleep as possible in before I had to wake up.  I'm back in action and ready to run!" I responded as chipper as possible.  The good old kill 'em with kindness trick that never seems to work.
The group picks up where we left of and we continue talking about my trip to the Bahamas.
Out of left feild comes..."Wow Clara you are such an attention whore...let someone else talk"
Sam who never speaks up shouted "Woah!  We asked her to tell us about the trip."
She sniped back "Goodness take a joke Sammy Boy"  A nickname I'm sure he dislikes because he rolled his eyes as he was turning away from the creepy intruder.
I was trying to keep my cool but starting to get a bit irked.  "Well I have been gone for 3 weeks...lots to chat about."  I choose to turn completely around to avoid any eye contact with her and Ron tries to sneakily box her out of the conversation circle.  So awkwardly the three of us are facing Shana.  Ron, Sam, and I glance at each other and chuckle a bit.  She does make Run club interesting. 


Then I hear her get one last jerk remark out.  "Well you've obviously been eating well on vacation, now we know why you're back...Time to run off the junk in the trunk." 
My eyes widen and the fire in my stomach (which could be because I didn't eat breakfast) ignited and I whip my pony tail around to face her.
I'm assuming Ron didn't know what to do because he put his arm out to block me and came in with a "Woahhhh"  
I shouted over him, "YOU ARE......(Very Long Pause. She's an idiot why am I so upset?  Do I want to go there?  Keep it Classy.) "SO DEMOTIVATING!"
A deranged sorority girl told me I was huge and I decided to attack her motivational skills.  Awesome. 

I'm mad but I see Ron and start to hold back a smile at how ridiculous what I just said was.  Then Ron breaks into a laugh.  The circle breaks into laughter.

Jenny is the only one at this point not laughing.  Probably because she isn't sure what to say.  I may not have told her off but I did succeed in confusing her.  As she was regaining her thought process and I was thinking of what I wanted to say, Jerry! ran up behind us all.  "JERRRRRRRY'S HERE!"

"WHO IS READY TO RUN!"  We all take off running and I was so upset that I beat Jerry! our pace leader.  For 4 miles I ran between all my emotions, anger at Jenny, anger at myself for letting her bother me, and then happiness.  I might have even started laughing at the thought of what had just happened.  I had gained weight and Jenny pointed that out, maybe not in a nice way, but she gave me energy.  I ran the fastest 4 mile pace, since I had started running.  Jenny was unusually at the back of the pack.

At the end of class I was grabbing water with Ron and Sam.  Guys don't really like to rehash things especially not fights, unless of course they were not involved.

Sam cautiously came up next to me and said, "Wow.  You ran really fast you should get pissed off more often."  I was quick to justify myself "I just had energy, I wasn't mad!"  Ron laughingly says "You weren't mad?  That wasn't your mad face?" 

"I was just flustered."

Ron was amused at my response so he said, "Flustered?  Man you looked like you were about to snap a bitch in half!  I was ready for her to finally get told off! Then the worlds longest angry pause just so we could hear demotivation pop out your mouth. Your little 'What Would Jesus Do' moment cost you some street cred girl."