The Emotional Man

So I went on a dating sabbatical just long enough to be amazing at work and lose some weight.  Woohoo me!  However this got me promoted to a new position and asked out on more dates.  I decided to accept a date from someone that I met at a Birthday Party for my friend Crystal.  It was a trolley ride and I was wearing a blue wig.  Luckily he didn't mind.  The week after the party he asked me out on a dinner date to a place called Piece.  If you are ever in Chicago you should stop by...it's also a brewery and it's a change from all of the deep dish Chicago Style pizza.

Anyhoo our dated started out really well.  I had those butterfly jitters he turned out to be a really interesting guy. Actually I only really say that because I could see him getting along with my Dad's.  He loves to golf, talk business, loves sports, and he's just very manly.  Everything about him just exudes testosterone, sweat, and bulging muscles.  I mean everything from the way he walked confidently, then put his hand on my lower back guiding me to the table, to the way he pulled out my chair and almost set me in it because yes he's that tall and strong.  As we continued I learned that he's a bit of an elitest music expert; meaning he only listens to bands that 90% of the world hasn't heard and then when you say "No I don't know that band" he kind of snickers and explains their "sound" to you.  Miniature Tigers anyone?  As the conversation progressed and our pizza made it's entrance he asked "So when was your last serious relationship?"  I told him about it in vague detail and then passed the question baton back to him.  However he didn't reach for it as eagerly as I thought he would instead he got very choked up.  The testosterone Man had been overcome by emotion and my novice skills as a wannabe therapist took over.  "Are you ok?  We don't have to talk about it."  This was a total lie, I wanted to know everything and be the one to help fix it.  The "All Man" Man turned into a volcano of emotions.  What the heck happened with this relationship?  My friend LT always says "Men tell you who they are by the stories they tell about their lives."  This was going to be a telling story I didn't want to miss out on!

I will never get why some guys do that.  They put all their emotions into a pit for safe keeping and then when you least expect it a question mark is thrown in and lava tears push their way out.  He pulled it together and the testosterone facade was back up.  We sat in silence and I am pretty sure I had "What the heck just happened?" painted on my face.  Then he said "Nah, it's no big deal.  We just broke up 21 months ago and it was kind of....."  He didn't finish so I started throwing adjectives at him.  "Tough, Troubling, Terrible?"  Not sure why they all started with T but whatever.

It was troubling to me that he knew the exact date (and i'm sure the time) of when they broke up so I mentioned that it was a pretty specific time frame compared to my "I think it was like a year or two ago" comment.  Then the lava tears came, all the way out this time.  He brushed them back quickly and covered his face.  When I see someone in pain, physical or emotional, I get this pain in my stomach and my nerve endings start pulsing and then I feel a type of pain.  This is probably why I get "weird" when I see people cry.  I have no idea what to do and I'm overcome myself with a terrible feeling so I usually flee or fix the situation.

After many questions I found out in eeked out sentences that this girl broke his heart and his year at one of the most vulnerable times in a guys life.  We keep talking for about an hour but we both didn't want to end the therapy session date on a sour note so we agree to get a drink at a bar.

However we couldn't go to the bar that I chose because he never called one of the girls that works there back.  It looks like I can give him his man card back.