All Dogs Don't Get Presents

I spoke too soon.  The guy that I liked didn't really like me too much.  During our Tuesday date he let me know that he would be coming downtown Sunday from the 'burbs to pre-party for the Cubs Home Opener on Monday and he would be attending and maybe we could meet up.  After our Tuesday date he was very busy with school and writing a paper and I probably overwhelmed him with chatter when he should have been studying.  I decided to step back and let him do his thing.  However I didn't hear from him on Thursday or Friday until after midnight when he texted saying "Remember me?"  I volunteer on Saturday mornings so was not up late and I didn't see the message until the following day.  (FYI My Mentee Brenda did awesome on her ACT Practice Test).  I texted him back jokingly that I was a bit hazy on who he was but got no response.  On Sunday I messaged him and found that he was still working on his paper.  Around 7pm I figured that I was not going to be a part of his Chicago plans and decided to spend some time with friends.

While out with friends they gave me a hard time and decided to take bets on if he would call me late.  I assured them he was a perfect gentleman and probably just wanted to have guy time.  I was wrong.  At 12:30am I got a text message from him saying "pooh"  I sent him back a question mark because I figured he was saying "Oh pooh i forgot to call you"  That was also not the case.  Ultimately he started out asking about my night and after I told him what I did he said "Thanks for the invite."  I was pretty irked considering he didn't invite me out and that's why I decided to hang out with other friends.  (Not that I didn't have an amazing time on my friend Lindsey's rooftop.)  So I said "No problem.  Thanks for calling me."  This started things off on a bit of a sour note and he tried to call and I sent him to voicemail.  I decided it was probably best if I didn't talk to him since he was probably drunk and I had 3 glasses of wine.  After a few more texts I tried to go to sleep and then he called again.  This time I decided to answer and see what exactly he had to say.  His friends were screaming in the background and he was pretty much talking to them so I just got silent.  Not sure why he called if there was so much insanity going on there.  He asked me what I was doing and if I was still awake and I said "Umm yes" got silent again, then he decided to say goodnight.

Right after we hung up I texted "You are ridiculous."  To which he responded that he wanted to see me.  I told him that there was still some time left to get to a bar and lock it down with a classy gal.  Then he said "I want to see Clara" I said "No you don't you are just drunk."  Then he told me to come pick him up because his friends were trying to rape him.  I told him that he should just close his eyes and let it happen.  I was pretty much done with the conversation when he then asked me to go get him.  I mean honestly?!  Are we 22 and back in college, who booty calls anyone anymore?  I had a feeling that we weren't going to have tea and talk about latest episode of The Office.  He told me he was going to say something sooner but I was "acting like a beyotch."  This fired me up.  How dare he tell me I'm the beyotch when he's treating me like some dumb slutty girl.  I then texted "I am notorious for picking the wrong guys and you just fell into that category."  This did not sit well with him and he let me have it.  He told me that I didn't know him at all and I said that it was pretty telling if he didn't have time to call me ALL week but he somehow found time to call me at 12:30 to "hang out."  He then told me that the world did NOT in fact revolve around me and that I was basically selfish.  I am not the best at showing my emotions so I try to go out of my way to be thoughtful and this really hurt.  Especially considering that I made Alex go into Barker in Meowsky to search for a Bow Tie for his dog and I got a $4 dog cookie!  Super selfish of me to do that.  Addison will be getting the dog cookie and I am going to use that bow tie as a headband since I don't think I can return it.

After he said those things I was shocked and just sat there staring at the messages.  Then he told me "Have fun writing about this in your blog!"  Followed by "Have a great life Clara."  Well that was great advice and I took him up on it.  I was so upset that I let this ruin my night I decided to let him know that, after about 30min of just sitting on my couch mentally reviewing what just happened in the last hour I decided to call him.  He did not answer.  I tried to go to sleep but sat there thinking of how the conversation could have gone better and how I could have explained how I felt better than lashing out and making rude comments.  I decided it would make me feel better to email him and explain and say sorry for my nasty comments. This did not make me feel better.  I was still SO upset that he thought I would say Yes to him coming over at 1am and that he thought I was self absorbed.  After I tossed and turned I got up and walked around.  Nothing seemed to make me feel better or sleepy so I started to clean.  I wore myself out around 3am and finally fell asleep.  The best part is when I told my mom what happened her first response was "Where did you learn how to clean?"

Lesson Learned:  Always go with your gut feeling.  Don't let mean comments from unimportant people make you feel bad.  And more importantly:  Ladies if a man did not take you out or go out with you he does NOT get to come home to you.  Don't be one of "those girls" and have some respect for yourself it's only contributing to the retardation of men.
Men, the only guys who call women for booty calls are 18-23yr olds who don't know any better, douche bags, guys who don't want to be considered gentlemen, guys who are lazy, or this dude on the right.  He literally knows all about the booty call.

METRA Rides & Allergic Reactions

Well it's safe to say I do like someone.  I can almost hear the gasp coming from my friends and family reading this.  It's not serious but I do like spending time with this person.  I won't really get into specifics but we did go on our third date last night and I told him I would head out to the 'burbs to meet up with him.  The ride out was great I met some really fun people including some AT&T employees.  The date was fantastic we went to dinner and a movie and then back to his apartment to watch the Bulls and wait for the train.  Don't get any crazy ideas he is a perfect gentleman.

It was the ride back that was the most interesting part of the date, my personal G.I. Joe was not there to protect me for this portion so I was technically not on the date anymore.  As soon as I climbed the stairs to get to the platform for the train I realized it was just one lone african american guy wearing some awesome CZ sparklers on his ears, jeans that were meant for someone who was a 5XL, and an unlit cigarette that he kept puffing and blowing in "O" shapes.  It was one of those brown ones with the white tips, I just know that they smell like a mix of cheap cologne, vanilla, and tobacco.   I can hear the train and have no clue where to wait to get to Chicago so I walked right up to him and said "Which side do we have to wait on to go to Chicago?"  He told me where to go then said in a low Barry White voice "What's a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?"  If a statement like this doesn't send chills up your back I don't know what will.  So I said that I was visiting a friend who wished I traveled with a tazer more often.  He thought this was funny and he could sense my discomfort and said "Oh no gurrrl, I didn't meant to scuuure you girl.  You know I just wanted to ax youz out maybe"  So I said "Well thanks, but I'm dating someone.  [The girl thing was creeping me out so I decided to introduce myself] By the way my name is Clara."  I reach forward and shook his hand.  He introduced himself as Santana.  I couldn't help but hear the really sharp riff in black magic woman by the Mexican Santana in my head.  Santana gladly told me he would protect me until he had to get off at the 3rd stop.  And he gave me a really valuable tip. 

"Clara, gurl you need-ta put yo right hand in yo pocket and make it look like a piece."  I said "A What?" and he said "Ha ha you silly girl, a gun, and don't take it out no matter what...that way people won't know whatcha got in der."  He told me that's how he robbed someone once.  Well you learn something new everyday.  We talked for the 15min he was on the train then he told me to be careful and keep the "gun" on the DL (Down low).  Shortly after my 5'9 thug life protector left I was swarmed by 6 other African American guys. They didn't even try to be sly about it since they all sat within a seat away from me.  None of them seemed very friendly and they kept giving me creepy looks.  Ackward! 

Since I wasn't exactly looking forward to being raped, murdered, or kidnapped I decided to move to a different car, maybe one with other women in it.  As soon as I got up the group of guys followed me.  Well now I felt even more uncomfortable.  The conductor noticed what happened and came and sat with me.  This only deterred them from sitting in the seats directly next to me.  I did not take my "gun" out of my pocket even though I felt like an absolute idiot doing that.  My date told me to tell the conductor to ask the METRA police to wait for me but the conductor said that I would be lucky if there was any employees at the station when we got there.  Awesome.  I didn't really want him to worry so I didn't relay the conductors message. 

During this entire incident I felt pretty calm and I tried to look each of the men in the eye so that I would be able to recognize them later.  As this was progressing I knew I was a bit anxious and when I get nervous or anxious I tend to sweat and my body just heats right up.  This was not the case, I couldn't take the heat anymore so I finally took my trench coat off and when I did I saw that my arms were all red and my chest looked like it was breaking out into hives!  My eyes got huge and one of the men who was looking at me was staring back baffled.  Then I started to panic because that's what I do.  I called my friend John who is a doctor and was shouting that I was "TURNING ALL RED AND ITCHY!"  The men who had followed me were staring at me wide eyed now instead of their creepy side ways glares.  John told me that I might be allergic to my date's dog or something else and as long as I was breathing fine I would be ok by the morning unless I started to swell up.  I screamed "SWELL UP!?! WHAT?!"  At that point half of the train was looking at me and I started to sneeze uncontrollably for what seemed like a minute straight.  John told me I had to calm down or else it was going to get worse so I started doing deep breathing, and at this point I felt pretty safe because one of the guys left and said "Eww" when he passed by.  The rest stopped staring and one guy asked if I was "alright."  I answered with a sneeze and a cough and he left next.  I was down to 4 freaky men, a nerdy student, a woman with 20 books, and the conductor.  When I got off the train no one followed me. 

While I'm sure the gun trick would have worked had I not had to cover my mouth/nose, and use my free hand to scratch it seemed that grossing people out is the way to go.  When in doubt gross them out.